Quill, Write Ups

It’s Okay To Not Be Okay

It’s okay if you have cried a lot last night.

It’s okay to scream.

Its okay if today you do not feel the way you felt yesterday.

It’s completely understood why you need space.

It’s okay if you don’t wanna talk or share. You  want some me time and that’s perfectly perfect.

Let the feelings flow. If you want to cry, cry out loud, but once you are done it should be over. There is no point lamenting your whole life on one thing. Live a life full of emotions. Tell people you are not okay. You need to cry.

Now a days only a few face readers are left. You need to express to be understood. IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY.

Quill, Write Ups

Fool

“Hey Olivia, can you please call her.”

“Call who? there’s no one standing here but the two of us.”

“You are but in looking the wrong direction. Check yet again, and this time beneath these thick layers of necessities. See her now?”

“Are you mad. There is no one else here.”

“She is right here, look straight from my eyes, there she stands- Olivia. Please call her.”

“You idiot, you’re asking me call myself. What is wrong with you.”

“Oh Olivia dear, I’m asking you to call Olivia.”

“What are you. You thick skull. Olivia and Olivia are the same person.”

“How can you two be the same person. You are but a slave to your own thoughts, a slave to your own self constantly living in fear of falling, in fear of failing. constantly trying and trying and trying but not knowing as to what are you trying to claim. While on the other hand the one of whom I speak of, she is a free soul rather she is a feeling, a feeling to live, a feeling to express herself and she is not bound by fears of earning $100,000, or fear to make herself a living and acquiring the so-called prestige of our society. Rather her primary objective is to maintain that precious smile on her face. To ensure that the little girl in her, she continues to survive and not just survive but continues to smile as well.”

“And you befool me saying you are but the same people. Moron you are.
For you even need another soul, to differentiate between yours and your body.”

Quill, Write Ups

To Books

Here is to my first love.

I remember when i was 7 being handed over “the three lazy lions”. ‘Who gives a book for b’day, mum dad!! ‘ was my first reaction. Little did I know my journey to the world of books started. After few days after completely forgetting about the gift, I stumbled upon it again. And to my surprise, I gave it a reading,

Now that I look back, am amazed how that b’day gift, opened to me a completly new world-The World Of Books.

Yes there are days when I do not want to even touch a book and on others I read for 24hours straight. Some days I read for the heck of it, and on others the words start flowing in the veins. Somedays I find a book thats so amazing that I am startled by its expression, and on others I just have to go in a trauma for completing it. Somedays you’ll see a really famous book in my hand and on other a book you haven’t even heard of.

And as Roald Dahl in Matilda said, “All the reading she had done had given her a view of the life they had never seen”

-A girl with a longgg reading list

Quill, Write Ups

Dear Kashmir,


“What is kept in name?” Well in my case it is connection to the paradise on earth, to you. “A millennial that has never seen her homeland” has been my identity for long.
We have a deep relation although we have just met each other twice. And although we live apart I cherish you as an obscure dream.
I hear my parents tell tales about your magnificent past and how they had to leave you behind to start a new life in a new world. What intrigues me is the spark in their eyes when they speak of you. Alas, the cold winds of hatred bruise the beautiful soul you used to be.  The wounds that lie on your heart could never possibly be healed when a mother is left without her son who thought he was fighting for heaven. I might never understand your pain when you are just reduced to deaths, resentment and apathy. Every day you die a thousand painful deaths when you are a mere spectacle of bloodshed that fills the air with a stench of loathsome freedom that you never wanted.

Violated, hurt and yet oblivion you stand there still.

Then there are those who think they are protecting you from clutches but instead tear you down. You are talked of but never really heard. You voice has become the screeching of guns and the wailing of mothers. My love, you are not a land of stone pelters or the rhetoric of manipulative politicians but that of estranged lovers like us.

You are phenomenal and you will overcome the grief and conflicts.

The Dal, Shalimar and Jhelum will sing tales of glory.

Hard times shall pass, clouds of despair will vanish.

We will meet when Sun shines upon us.

Till then this heart wrenching wait will be the testimony of our uncanny love.  

Your estranged lover,

A girl far from home…

Quill, Write Ups

2019! With a bang

Ola! Wishing you a very Happy New Year!!

Oh these 365 days passed real quick, but the moments, the moments they brought with them, blended slowly yet surely into our lives, from the little harsh fights to sweet sensetive memories, we got all of it.

But now as the year departs, lets actually brace ourselves up and rather merely celebrating the fact the earth revloved around the sun once, let’s actually make up a resolution to break the limits like never before, to give the best of ourselves and to make this year the biggest of our entire lifetime…

Wishing you the very best once again and hoping you surely give in every morsel of yours into the process of making your dream come true.

Brevity, Write Ups

Fall

I fall for you all over again when you already know I ate your favourite vanilla ice cream and you still act suprised like you never knew and failing miserably . When you buy two pair of socks because I always steal yours . When you travel one extra mile just because I like Chinese from that particular restaurant around the corner . When you patiently explain all Urdu-hindi words of some shyri because I’m so bad at Hindi . When you eat my half cooked roti and make ugly faces and still eat it anyway . When you just hug me and don’t push me for things when I have a rough day . When you sing “let it go” repeatedly while I yell at you till I join you in our post fight singing concert . When you keep up with all my important dates and keep reminding me to complete my assignments . When you push me do my best .
Yes , I fell for all over again all-day everyday .

Quill, Write Ups

Wish

A women in her mid thirties from a well to do family was beaten and thrown out of her house in the middle of the night by her drunk husband with her autistic child. Barefooted she went to her friends house to seek help. Another women was beaten and pushed from 3rd floor of her building by her husband. On being asked why did he do this he replied that no other option was left.

These incidents that occurred in my neighbourhood in the last 2 weeks, disheartens me. I hear a deep scream of a women asking me when did ‘The Man Of The House’ snatched your right to breath? Even after hearing such painstaking words like, “I’ll kill you” “You deserve a life in the sewer” why were the women not able to leave the house that had no respect for her? Why were her parents not saying a word and watching the whole scenario unfold, couldn’t they sense their daughters pain, her sufferings? Why didn’t the women take a stand for herself and for the sake of her child?

And the answers to all these questions lie in how we raise our daughters, telling them at each step to be dependent on their brothers, father, husband. Instilling in her that her parents house is not hers and she will have to leave for another house that she might be able to call her own. Asking her to stay hushed, low gaze and to behave. WHAT WILL THE SOCIETY SAY? (insert mocking laugh)

And being a women, girl, daughter I wish for a world that has respect. A world where were are not dependent on anyone. I wish for a safer world



Poetry, Write Ups

Birth

I remember becoming a writer,
A winter of february,
In a dark quite room,
My body slumped like a limp,
Scars all over my soul,
Slipping in a marsh,
I knew I couldn’t get out of,
I felt words slipping out of lips,
But nothing came out,
As if , they’ve stopped functioning,
My mind trapped in storms,
Lights scared me,
As if , they were mocking me,
So I reached out,
Pulled the blinds, turned the lights off,
And on one dark hour,
Sobs burst out like a packed seed bag,
Scars healed me and words saved me,
And I couldn’t ask for better .

Quill, Write Ups

The Early New Year Wishes

Probably the earliest new year wishes, and before all the platforms start posting memes on how they wasted this year too. Let me tell you how I didn’t waste this year.

  1. There are some happy days, some days you feel low. Some days you feel things aren’t going how they are supposed to, dear, on these days you just need to go with the flow. Understand things eventually get better, always.
  2. A little note of well-being from an old friend literally makes your day
  3. In this ‘modern’ world where everyone is fed up with their monotonous life, and dark selves. Be the soul that radiates infinite happiness, good vibes. Make your presence a comforting one.
  4. Beauty is the way you carry yourselves, how you treat others with love. Beauty is your soul.
  5. A hearty laugh makes everything better.
  6. Face everyday with a new energy, Grab the opportunities, Seize the day.
  7. You ought to keep your fist down and your head high to fight for what is right. 

And here’s wishing you all a Happy New Year!!

Quill, Write Ups

Lost?

Do you ever feel lost ?
So lost that it feels like your lungs are on fire and it’s so hard to breathe . Like you’re on the top of Ferris wheel and while coming down , it feels like your inside will explode . Like that mini heart attack you get when you slips just below the top of the hill .
You know there’s this thing with people that when they leave , they leave with a vacant hollow space inside us , with stomach full of knots , eyes full of tears , mind full of twisted thoughts .
We get so habituated to their presence that after them , it’s just , it’s just darkness . They lingers everywhere , in the sheets , in the clothes , in our home , in our fingertips , in our mind . And god help you if you get that particular smell of cologne somewhere and you loose it completely , every bottled up thought comes crashing down and you couldn’t even cry . Because you’re so tired , not for sleep but for peace .

  • Blurry vision , sunset and cigarettes